This is currently my biggest work of art at 48/36. I find myself feeling as if the painting is curling around my vision, welcoming me in. Now for the goal of this blog, documenting my process and what I meant so people will know what the hell I'm trying to tell them. A word to all people, you can derive any meaning you want from art, what I meant could be different from what you see. My goal here is to leave a maker's opinion so people don't potentially think this is about racism or death 100 years from now (people are weird, I'm planning for it). Honestly people will think what they want but in my heart I know I told them what it was made for. Gosh, I wish I could just paint but I am my own social media gal and biggest advocate. I could literally give up painting for a while and simply document and campaign all my work. I do not fear making elaborate art friends, I fear all the typing, editing, picture taking, (has to be the right time of day too!) and posting on various social media sites. Complaining finished, I'm in this life to make radiantly beautiful things and now I'd like to tell you about another one.
When I made this painting, I still lived in an apartment by Lake Erie. This home had really high ceilings much to my delight. This left me lots of wall to fill so I bought a BIG canvas with very vague ideas other than one, sanctuary. I was originally inspired by the sunsets I often watched from my window and wanted to capture some of that peace. The sky itself is based off of a picture of one such sunset. Colors were chosen in order to create a softness and sweetness. I wanted to metaphorically send hugs and kisses via painting to people's souls. It was different since I usually work in much smaller spaces but not challenging, all I needed was bigger brushes and to step back every now and then in order to get my composition right.
I started around the edges with the loose rainbow flowers. These were made by lining up various colors on a canvas pallet. I proceeded to use the biggest brush I could to collect all the colors and waved them in a circle in order to create the design. I repeated this to my heart's content and filled in the space with smaller white flowers made in a similar fashion. You can actually see where I mixed these colors on another work of art which really is just me mixing paint on a smaller canvas and then committing to it.
Back to the small flowers which I had the most fun with. I was kind of bored with no filling for them and knew from the beginning that I was going to go to town with glitter and shine. I felt like an embroiderer carefully dabbing glitter on the canvas into my heavy acrylic medium (friggin love heavy acrylic medium). Painting for me is oddly more fun once I have some stuff done on the canvas because it's like I'm decorating something that's already beautiful. There are numerous times I found myself in awe of all the colors and details I created. Now imagine me in a sea of colorful brushstrokes carefully creating stars of glitter, it was a joy and peace, the earrings for an outfit, the icing on a cake. Oh and the sunsets with this painting? Glorious. I liked watching it sparkle as I walked around.
What the hell is going on with my sky? I didn't want to detail it too much since it's a background element and I wanted eyes to focus more on the middle and edges. Unfinished art space ruins my immersion so a sky there would be. When I lived by the lake, I saw beautiful sunsets almost everyday. I wanted to immortalize at least one. I went about doing this by first blocking all the colors out, and closer to the end, thinning my paint down so it would glide into soft lazy loops. The goal was to make the design softer and effortless with a good dose of fun. I found the method extremely satisfying, will have to do again.
My meaning for this painting started out kind of vague but I had feelings I wanted for it and a purpose. As fun as it was to doodle colorful abstract flowers around the edges of the canvas, I had to have something else in it that created purpose. It was meant to tie my other paintings together, fill my walls, have peaceful color tones, look utterly fantastic with the different lights of day, and help create a sense of sanctuary in my home. After I spent some time doodling flowers around the edges I began playing with a hill with a flower on top. A very magical flower indeed. Something to tie all the details together and center a person's eyes as one often does with a composition.
At the time, I was also in the process of creating a smaller painting with far too many people so I didn't want them here. Now I'm currently not the best with grasses nor did a grassy hill fill my mind with delight. I wasn't too focused on reality with this painting, I rarely am when I make something. Oh how nice it is to live in a world where I can separate realism from art. After adding a lot of texture to the center, I realized I wanted to create lots of vines, kind of like how an orchid does. I'm not the best with plants, but there was a time when I kept a single orchid alive and thriving and boy did it make a lot of roots all over the place. I amplified the idea and filled the hill. Rest in peace plant of mine. Note to readers! This is not a memorial to my dead flower, I'm not that sentimental.
Process concluded, I did mention some stuff about this already on social media but it has to all be in one place on my damn blog for easy access. Hmm... Time to find my post and copy paste ship. "I call this mental sanctuary, it's like the peaceful place you go inside your own head. It's a safe haven of imagination and inner truth no one can touch without your say so." Hedwiga Wood. Now why the hell do I need a mental sanctuary? Other than the obvious everyone has one, I'm very aware of mine. As someone who never thought to do any job that was practical, I was often bombarded with doom and gloom when it came to my future along with my own homemade concoction. It has and continues to suck, friends and family casually tell me I'm going to suffer a lot for my dreams. As a lady who works in a bakery to make ends meet, yes, I know! My health suffered almost half a year ago I was so worried about it! When one constantly questions and doubts oneself, there has to be way to create hope. The best way for me was to do a very rational thing, make the biggest, most impressive painting yet, just keep climbing Hedwiga. Show them what you're made of! Glitter, flowers, and love!
Sometimes, I wish I could stop and find something different, it might save me a lot of pain. There's a lot of pitfalls I'm trying to circumvent in order to create a happy future. If I look at it the way other people have been explaining it to me, I'm already doomed. However, it's kind of hard for me to give up forever. Believe me, I've tried but the mental garden thrives. I get the sense I'm doing important work and that this is all building to something really cool. I kept my inner garden alive (not my outer garden, I've killed so many plants) first because it keeps me happy but also because I think other people need it. Positivity doesn't always live in abundance in hearts so I want to welcome people to a safe place in mine. A tall order to give but love always wins and I like to win. I want people to hope and build things that are frightening because the best things happen when you are a hero. Stories don't follow people who give up and I plan to make a damn good tale. My ultimate message? No person's words can change the love and positivity of your heart.
P.s. Oh yeah! I might have made this for my home but it is available for sale. I simply haven't posted it on my Esty yet because I'm in the pattern of making art more than selling it, thus my doom. Contact me if you are interested!
With love and glitter,
from Hedwiga Wood.